It’s been nearly an entire year since I’ve blogged last. There’s no real reason as to why I haven’t penned my thoughts and musings, it’s just life as we know it – crazy mental mind blowingly busy. But we love it that way – we’re all suckers for the business of life. But as life stands right now, i’ve had the chance to slow right down. To stop completely and take a deep breath in, exhaling and enjoying every bit of it. And there’s a pretty cool reason why too!
Our little family has had quite the journey, which is what family is all about really – going on the journey of life together, isn’t it? My story is no more spectacular than anyone else, but it’s mine to love and enjoy. Our son is about to turn 5, changing each day, growing and learning and exploring his own world – watching him and being a part of it is insanely exciting. I love having my mind blown by a 4 year old, it puts everything into perspective again and makes you realise just how miraculous being a mother actually is. Not saying it’s all roses, i’m not that type of blogger, or mother, or human in fact to just paint the sparkly, glistening side of parenting – but as i’ve said before, each and every part of it is pretty special when you take the time to step back, stop and breathe it all in. Boogers and fart jokes included.
We’ve recently moved house, selling our own home that we built ourselves, actually selling it twice because hey, we like to do things on repeat! (insert sarcastic eye roll) and we’re expecting a new baby to arrive any week now! Years ago, when I started this blog I never thought we’d have another baby. We were totally fine with being a family of three, and couldn’t bare the thought of attempting conception, pregnancy, birth and the aftermath again after having such a rough time with our first birth. But, as the universe will have it, we knew our little family wasn’t quite complete… there was someone missing. And so, with much love and talking (there was a shitload of talking about it!) we decided we would ‘give it a crack’! We knew the risks, but like anything in life, there are always risks, and if you worried about them ALL – well, you’d just live it out in a box right? And, we’re not for boxes! So, away we went and here we are… waiting the arrival of Bubbacino (affection name for my growing bump, coined by our son!).
So, as I get to exhale and slow right down before the birth of Bubbacino, my body is preparing itself for the upcoming craziness of a newborn and my mind is at it’s most peaceful. It’s a great place to be, apart from the heartburn, sick to death of maternity clothes and uncomfortable nights – it’s all pretty blissful right now and why shouldn’t it be. We know there’s a shitstorm of sleepless nights, sore boobs, days of missing a shower and explosive poo-filled nappies ahead of us, but we’re pumped! Our son is pumped to be a big brother – in his words, “finally I get my own brother or sister, what took you so long guys?” We are up for this and can’t wait to meet our Bubbacino!
Of course, the best thing about doing something a second time around is that you feel so much wiser. I am also completely aware that this one will be nothing like the last one, but that’s the point isn’t it. For each little human we make and meet, brings their own uniqueness to our lives. But the things we can learn from our last 5 years have been pretty special, and we’re happy to be surprised along the way.
My best advice to myself at this point is written up on chalk boards in my bathroom. Yep, officially crazy, but it works – I get to read the tit-bits of advice I give to myself each day, and they’re not bad.
Linz – Build your village. Western society is the only one where the mother comes home from hospital and is predominantly alone. Other cultures get around the mother, support her and her life so that she can just focus on supporting her baby. This is where ‘building your village’ is so vital in parenting. You need to have people around you that you can trust. That you can call on and say ‘hey, i’m covered in projectile milk and haven’t showered since yesterday, can you bring me some sanity?” and you need to have the people around you that when you look at them, they just know you’re on the verge of bursting into tears because sleep deprivation is upon you and you can’t even tell what day it is. You need them to sneak wine into your hospital room because it’s just been too long between drinks. You need the ones to tell you how it is when you get all crazy on yourself. You need all of them, and you need to build your village with strong people that have no element of judgement to them. Judgement has no place in motherhood or parenting AT ALL. So, when I say i’m having an elective cesarian because it’s what’s best for me, there won’t be any sniggers of disapproval. So, when I say I will have the baby in our bed there won’t be any shocked looks. So, when I post a sign on my door that says ‘No Vaccination No Visit’ – my village will just ‘get it’. Don’t bring your germy selves into my place or around my new baby or else my village will hunt you down and eat you for dinner. When I don’t answer my phone for days my village will just get it. When I post baby spam on social media my village will just get it. And when it’s 2am and I decide to text you, there will be people in my village that will also be up at 2am, and they’ll just get it and text me back. So… build your village and love them dearly, your future self with thank you.
Linz – Do it your way. I don’t read parenting books because frankly, I think they’re the biggest wank to hit bookshelves in a long time. Don’t get me started on some of the shit I hear coming out of women’s mouths about what they’ve read. I’m not saying you can’t read them, just take them with a grain of salt – because i’m pretty sure your baby didn’t read that book! So, just DO IT YOUR WAY! My family will know what our baby needs, and my family will be the one to make the decisions about it. No one else. If I ask you for advice, take that as a pretty big compliment – it means I admire what you’re doing, and there’s plenty in my village that I can do this with.
Linz – Nothing lasts forever, so just ride it out and enjoy it while you can. Yep, pretty cliche I know, but the last 5 years of my son’s life feels like a blink of an eye, so we will enjoy every part of this next adventure, together, as a new family.
And… finally, my last piece of advice to myself is to take lots of photos. In our digital world, we take so many more photos but see only some of them. This is a shame, and I love nothing more than photography and it gets put on the back burner when the beast of life takes over. So, now that I have the time to slow down and enjoy all the small things again, life will be photographed. And it probably has to start with some photos of our Bubbacino – belly bump! I have freaked out over this for a while as i’d much rather be behind the camera, in control, than in front of it and feeling like a fish out of water. But there’s something in my mind that sticks clearly for me. With the world that we are in, full of judgement and shaming, I would easily shy away from photos of my body during pregnancy. But I have a responsibility to myself, and my children, to show them that to be ashamed of your own body is no way to live. Bumps and all – it’s yours to own and love. So I agreed that Az could take some photos and we will cherish them for ever. No photoshop, nothing but us and our bump and a huge deep exhale… to stop and enjoy it all.
These days are my days, and bring on this baby, our little family can’t wait!