So, as it stands, today my husband and I enjoyed reminiscing about the night we met, which was 10 years ago to the day. We indulged in memories, our adventures, our travels, our ups and downs all while eating delicious food, a part of our new dreams (I’ll get to the food later). So, while thinking about anniversaries, we realized it has just gone over a year since I started this blog. It was the September school holidays last year… so, 1 year on… here’s what I know!
A year on… I know that telling my world that I had post natal depression as a result of suffering post traumatic stress, or to keep it simple, I had depression, was one of the most difficult things to do – but possibly the most awakening thing I could experience. People questioned my openness and were afraid for me, but I jumped in head first because as far as I felt, I had nothing to lose.
A year on… I won! I won the battle against the darkness that took over me. I’m no longer plagued by crippling anxiety, I’m no longer afraid of the future and held down by the past. I live in the present and I enjoy the peace that comes with that.
A year on… I know the importance of self care. Not brushing my teeth and making sure i’ve got clean undies on… I always knew this (although on many occasions I still confuse the goddam hairspray with my deodorant!) However, I’m talking about the act of looking after yourself, completely. It’s not a selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority, it’s necessary.
A year on… I know the importance of physical health and how this is so strongly connected to mental and emotional health. I know this because my life before depression was careless in the sense of my health. I never exercised, ate well, but not for wellness. All that changed, because I changed it. I wanted to live the best way I could, and that for me was to live without depression. So… I have had help from medication and psychologists, but these aren’t the only factors that I contribute to my wellness. They worked in hand with my attention to self care, which is: Sleep. Wakeful Rest. Meditation. Finding Joy. Eating Well. Exercising for Strength. Exercising for Endorphins. Laughter. Talking. Creating. Contributing. Working. Giving. Learning. Loving.
A year on… I know that having a guiding strength and inspiration around you is vital. I have these in my adoring husband and best friend, my beautiful parents, my wonderful siblings, my incredible friends and my unimaginably perfect son. I also have Pintrest!! Bah Ha! But seriously, my Pintrest life is amazing!! My social media addictions range from time to time, once it was Instagram, Draw Something, now it’s Pintrest! I’m useless really when it comes to all of them, however, I can often get lost in exciting new recipes for raw food desserts, Lao Tzu readings, photography tips, and really shitty humor! Don’t judge, i’m sure we all have a social media addiction, mine is just rather dorky!
So, depression be gone! I’m sure it will always be a part of who I am, and i’m ok with that. I know it will never dominate or control my life because of the journey i’ve been on for the last year. I see people who are suffering, in silence, and I hope that they can make the choice to heal their pain. Mine is not a recipe to rid depression, mine is just my journey. On paper for you to read, and maybe it will help someone else, or maybe not. But I am experiencing the joys of life in a way I never thought possible.
As I sat down to dinner tonight with my boys, sharing a ripper Kale and Quinoa salad, my son chewing on his Black Truffle Oil Porterhouse, he asked me a series of questions that made me realise just how fantastic life is. He asked ‘Mama, what are clouds made of?’ then before we could answer he asked ‘Dada, why is the sky blue?’ and then just as we were finishing our mouthfuls he blurted out with ‘How do the baby whales get inside their mums tummies?’… My husband and I shared a knowing look, and both cracked up laughing. Archer has always known how to truly live in the present and be at peace. The older we get, the more we forget. It’s always been about Archer, he’s been the one at the centre of all of this. It started with him, and it will always be about him and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My husband and I just get to enjoy the ride!
These Days Are My Days and I better go and change my ‘about me’ page!
PS – The tone of this blog may change, there might be ‘Pintrest’ style musings… ha! joke! If I get anything like a crazy pintrest Mama, please find me and slap me! Twice! However, I may be inclined to write about my food journeys because it’s yum! Go forth and do what makes you happy! x big love
And…..you are AMAZING 🙂
Linz, i love your blog you make me smile, laugh, cry and relies how normal it all is. Love your work.xx
Thank you Amanda, your words mean a lot to me! PND and all forms of depression are all very real and I’m glad you could connect with me through this! Thank you for reading! x