Through this journey out of depression, in my case Post Natal Depression after suffering Post Traumatic Stress, each new day tells its’ own story. Each time I talk about this blog, access it, or share it with someone, I’m gently reminded of how far i’ve come. Sometimes I get friends who haven’t seen it before, and they ask about it. Then they write to me and share their thoughts on my journey. Usually, with a story of their own. Not until recently has this made me go back and read some of my earlier posts.
That’s something I thought I’d never actually do. As writing each blog was therapeutic in it’s own right, it was also as if writing it down was a way to release it all from my head, and be done with it. So I never had the desire to re-read my posts. Until now.
Which is because of a few things. Mainly, because i’m so far away from my feelings of depression, i’ve put in a lot of hard work to be this far away and I can stand from here, and read my words with a sense of security, knowing that I don’t have to go back.
I read “These Days I’m Singing Gotye” and I was full of joy. This post gave me tingles!
I read “These Days are Game Face Days” and I was relieved that I never have to wear that game face again.
Other posts made me laugh “These Days Are About Moving Mountains” and I realized that I am always going to need to ‘cleanse’, it’s not just a one-off, depression related concept. And if you ask my husband, he’s pretty sick of me moving furniture and re-arranging our home… but as I keep reminding him, it’s all about me ‘cleansing’!! (and partly because I love to buy new things for the home!!)
This brings me to the point about this blog and it’s inception. I remember many people cringing at the thought of me ‘baring all’ in regards to my journey. I remember the judgement on some faces. I still see this in some people, which is why writing and talking about depression is still important. I don’t expect everyone to want to share their journey, it’s a personal choice, but I have always been an open book in regards to mine, in the hope that it makes one other person out there realise they are not alone.
This also brings me to something i’m so thrilled about. In a recent Herald Sun newspaper, Kylie Brown, a wife of an AFL player in Australia, and a mother of two beautiful children, wrote her story about PND. She too has a blog! We are not alone in this! I am so thrilled that Kylie has been able to write her story, share it and now help spread the word that we DO need to talk about this. There is no shame in this and we are certainly not alone. I congratulate Kylie for being a wonderful voice for others who may not be able to share their story. I know she will bring hope for so many others.
And to top it off, she’s had the time to talk to me about this via emails which proves she is just like anyone else, a down to earth mother who trusted her instincts and her body and knew what she had to do to be ‘herself’ again.
It’s been a strange old week in my life, a bit of an emotional roller coaster in terms of loss, tragedy, grief, sickness, new beginnings, relaxation, friends and family and ‘me’ time. A little cherry on the top was to find out I was ‘Blogger of the Week’ within the Digital Parents community. What a thrill to be chosen and shared among such a talented group of bloggers.
So, as my school holidays come to an end, I can reflect on a whirlwind few weeks and truly be proud of where I am today. With loving friends and family, a beautiful husband and son, a blessed life with the chance to continue living ‘These Days’…
Thanks for reading my words, sharing my journey and being part of ‘These Days’…
Big Love Linz x